Tonight (12/21) is the first time I’ve been home to have dinner since Dec 7. Everyday since Dec 7 I have declared I have never felt more tired than right now, but somehow I’ve kept on marching. Tonight I am more tired than I have ever been in my life. I hope this cycle ends soon, or I might end.
I attended a Blue Christmas service tonight. A Blue Christmas service is a reflective worship service to honor those who are grieving or in pain, typically held on or around the Winter Solstice.
Yesterday I buried my mom.
When your mom’s funeral flowers are among the poinsettias decorating the front of the church at the Blue Christmas service, that seems like the deepest blue possible.
So I am home, finally, trying to find some shred of normalcy. I’m eating what my mom and her mom always made me when I needed extra love – buttered noodles with milk.
Monday I have treatment #93.
2025 has been an absolutely painful, difficult, horrible year.
I am not in control. 
Oh Heidi
Holding you in my heart tonight, and all through this season. ❤️🩹
Joanie
LikeLike
I am so very sorry Heidi you have had such a hard month. My mother died in a past December also so it brings back a lot of memories and we were an ocean apart which made it harder. I am praying the God of all comfort will draw near to you and give you the peace that passes all understanding. “The Lord draws near to the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds”. Ps 147:3
LikeLike
I heard a heart warming story about Your son and what he shared at your mom’s funeral. What a blessing that you have such a warm loving group to surround you! Know that we are holding you in prayer. Happy Traveling on Monday! Keep up that beautiful smile that you own. You are loved!!
LikeLiked by 1 person