93 (Heidi’s Version)

The departure time for our trip to St Louis came early. Dave & I picked up a bonus traveler, Haley.

My day began with a nurse accessing my port and drawing blood for labs. My labs were not the best, but still okay to continue to treatment. My immune system is the weakest it has been in 5 years and I am extremely anemic. Much of this comes from 5+ years of treatment. The last 3 weeks of my life did not help.

Next we began the l o n g wait for treatment. These 2 started and completed 2 puzzles while we waited. Siteman Cancer Center is closed Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, giving its employees a well-deserved holiday break.

Cancer, however, doesn’t take time off for holidays.

Patients with Tuesday or Wednesday treatment days have to be squeezed into the 3 remaining days of the work week. You have to stay pretty close to your schedule for your health and so your health insurance company does not deny the claim because it isn’t within the correct time frame. Can you imagine the chaos?

I was not called back to the chemo pod until over 2 hours after my scheduled time. Not a typo. Do you remember the Snickers commercials where people need a Snickers to be nice again? That was me today, except with a Diet Coke. This isn’t typical of me, but I’m tired and kinda fed up with life.

My companions were very patient with the patient. I gave them music trivia questions most of the time. Together, they have locked down several decades.

I love when the therapy dogs come visit! This is Gibson and he is a very good boy. He didn’t want to leave Haley, the animal whisperer (just like her Gran).

Today I received Herceptin and Zometa for treatment #93. I only get Zometa every 4 treatment cycles. It makes me feel like I have the flu for 2 days. This will be Christmas Eve and Christmas Day for me. Ho Ho Ho. Again, cancer doesn’t observe holidays.

When we left the waiting room was empty and it was dark. There were many patients still in the middle of their treatments. Many nurses will have the start of their holiday delayed until everyone is finally done tonight. The day down here for me began at 12:00 and we left the building around 6:15. With a couple stops for a break from the drive for me, we will get home around 10:00.

It hit me today that I am now on this cancer journey without my mom here with me. I always said that Jesus is my rock, but I had my mom just in case. I’m scared, sad and lonely without her, but my family is stepping up in big ways to help carry my load. She taught us well how to love and help and protect and how to keep going when times are hard. Together, we will be okay. Because of her, we will be okay.