Today is treatment #110 and my 7th Christmas in the chemo pod. Dave & I left the farm at 6 am. I saw my oncologist today, the amazing Dr. Bisi. They had issues with some pipes that closed some of the chemo pods in the Siteman Cancer Center. That would wreak havoc to the schedule any day, but especially so close to the holidays. Since we know our way around down here they switched me to the Cancer Care Clinic at the last minute and we are grateful. All the buildings here on the campus are connected with links and skywalks.

Last week was one year since my mom died. It was rough. This feels like the first Christmas without my mom since last December was a painful blur. Her memorial service was December 20 and I had chemo on December 23. Christmas was a blur.

I am reading a wonderful book, “All Creation Waits – The Advent Mystery of New Beginnings” by Gayle Boss. Each day tells the story of how a woodland creature prepares for winter. The drawn illustrations are gorgeous and each animal is introduced with a quote or a poetry voice. I find it comforting to see all that animals go through in their preparations for surviving winter. When I am struggling with the lack of daylight and impending cold, this book reminds me this is a normal process of life and it is necessary to adjust my routine accordingly. These are dark times for all God’s creatures, including me.

January has 3 trips down here – treatments 111 & 112 along with a brain MRI and visit with my radiation oncologist. Hopefully my “license to live” will be renewed once again.

Today was treatment #109. Dave & I left the farm at 6:30 am. We borrowed a vehicle because my daughter and I were in a car accident Sunday. My car took the brunt of it and left us a bit sore and rattled. My digestive system has been challenging lately and today was no exception as Dave maneuvered holiday interstate travel so I could empty my stomach on the side of the road on the way down. He is a keeper.

I’ve entered a time of heavier than usual grieving as we approach the anniversary of my mom’s death. Much like July, when I can remember details from each day in 2019, the days from a year ago are also etched in my heart. I miss my mom so much and I miss who I was when I had my mom. There was such reassurance in knowing my mom was constantly loving me and in my corner.

I am in active pursuit of Hope mostly by spending time with people (and dogs) I love.

Today was chemo #108. Dave & I left home around 6:30 am and will get back home around 5:00 pm. It was a gorgeous sunny day. Hopefully I will sleep through the worst of it tomorrow. I had one of my favorite chemo nurses today, Joyce.

I am so grateful for all Dave does to help me through this. This was a photo I took as we drove away from the farm this morning.

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I have a dark, salty sense of humor. The chemo pod nurses do, too! This window decoration was at my eye level in the chemo pod today. Ha! Not today, Death.

Here is a link to the scripture I mentioned in the video:

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke%2017%3A11-19&version=MSG

Today is National Metastatic Breast Cancer Awareness Day. Here is a link to my donation page. All money goes to Metavivor which gives all its money toward researching MBC.

https://donate.metavivor.org/fundraiser/5554408

I decided to take a year off of advocacy last November. My health was very poor and I needed a break. I didn’t know then that my mom would pass in December. It hasn’t been an easy road. My new line of treatment seems to be controlling the breast cancer in my brain (knock on wood). I’m seeing a nutritionist who has helped me regain more physical strength despite the frequent – and sudden – bouts of vomiting and diarrhea. I am a realistic and resilient person, but all that gets pretty exhausting. I don’t leave home much because of the side effects, but it’s okay because I love my home on the family farm with my lab, my art/writing room, and my piano.

I am also taking a break from social media so I would appreciate you sharing my posts. There are buttons at the bottom of the page to make that easier. You can navigate to my home page and hit the subscribe button to receive email notifications of new blog posts.

Thanks for reading this far. Thanks for your support. F cancer.

I got my flu and Covid vaccines today. Since I have chemo 107 on Tuesday, I figured this was a better time to do it since my blood count takes a dive each time I get chemo. Please get vaccinated. It helps people like me with severely compromised immune systems. Be a super hero. For me.

Today we left home at 4:30 am. I had a brain MRI and an appt with my radiation oncologist. I extended my streak for unremarkable brain scans – the desired result. It has been well over a year now without any new brain tumors. The new treatment I switched to last summer seems to be working well. We are relieved, as you can see on our expressions.

Madi and I are grieving hard for Indie. She outlived the vet’s prognosis by 9 months and I am so grateful for all that extra time to take care of her and love her. Her osteosarcoma finally made it impossible for her to stand. Cancer is a bitch.

September 27 was the Chicagoland Be a Hero Fun Run for Metavivor in Plainfield, IL. It was a beautiful day. My team at the walk consisted of my husband, Dave, my daughter, Haley, my cousin, Suzi, and my friends, Lila, Patti and Joy. I got a new Wonder Woman costume and had a lot of fun with it. I’m so grateful for my team walking with me. They all live 3 hours from Plainfield. It is so generous of them to make that trip for me. I’ve mentioned that my body cannot regulate temperature well anymore. I became a little too hot before the race started and lost my cookies. Ugh. But I walked the course immediately after that. F cancer. Thank you to everyone who contributed, too.

My family means everything to me. I imagine getting to heaven someday and showing God a photo of these 4 people and telling God this is it – this was my life and these people made me whole. I celebrated their 28th, 24th, and 23rd birthdays with them this year. I never thought that was possible 6 years ago. I watched the second one graduate college. Dave and I celebrated our 31st wedding anniversary.

October is here and the pink-washing is everywhere I look. Please be discerning about where your dollars are going. Many companies put a pink ribbon on their product and vaguely mention that some portion of the cost will go to support something dealing with breast cancer. Please read the fine print.

95% – 98% of all breast cancer deaths are caused by metastatic breast cancer, yet of all the money spent researching breast cancer, only 2% – 4% goes to researching metastatic breast cancer. It is a horrific disparity.

My fundraising campaign is for Metavivor. All money goes metastatic breast cancer research. My life literally depends on this research to keep finding new lines of treatment over time. Please help end the research disparity by contributing to MBC research.

https://donate.metavivor.org/fundraiser/5554408

We are driving home from Plainfield. I’ll tell you all about this fantastic day in a later post.