I wouldn’t trade my life for anyone else’s.
My gran said that if you throw your problems in a ring with a bunch of other people, you would choose your problems back rather than picking up new ones. I never truly understood that until this morning. As I sit here with stage 4 cancer and having to work full time to keep insurance and financial stability, I am overwhelmed by all the blessings in my life. So many blessings that I could not list them all. But here are a few.
I have the most incredible spouse who shows me his commitment to our wedding vows every day. Through sickness and health. For rich or for poor. He tells me often he wishes he could be the one with cancer so I could be the one to get all the rest of the years with our kids. That is love.
I have three amazing, unique, interesting, determined kids. They like to think they have nothing in common but I see the same independent streak in each of them that assures me they will be just fine. They are the center of my universe and I love sitting back and watching them tackle life. My fierce love for them keeps me going on the worst days.
My mom is a tiny octogenarian who is mighty in her ability to love me and take care of me. She listens to me vent and celebrates the good days with me. She is a woman of valor and I hope to make her proud always.
I have a job that is well suited for working from home and I work for a company that is sticking with my and supporting me. I’m sure my boss and the board of directors did not imagine me shifting to working from home when I was hired 4 years ago. Nothing like that happens “in these parts.” My boss knows how much the coop means to me since it was my dad’s. He knows I give my all and he trusts that I will provide the financial directions they need, even if it is not from the office at the elevator.
I have a lot of wonderful friends. Three of them are key to my life. Malinda, Kathy, and Sara have known me for decades and love me, warts and all. They hear all my good days and bad days. They know the fear and hurts that I discuss with no one else. I know I can just let it all out with them. They seem to know when I need a good laugh and when I need a good hug (even if it is a long distance one).
I have my music as a way to keep me sane and communicate with God. Sitting at the piano is my favorite spot. Rattling the walls of a church with the pipe organ comes a close second.
I live on a farm where I can have space and peace and quiet. I can sit on my porch and listen to the birds and figure out life.
I have a dog who is my nurse and best buddy. She is there at 2 am when I’m scared of dying. She worships me and loves me unconditionally.
I could go on, and sometime I WILL continue this post. But for now, I am going to enjoy this feeling of blessedness and be thankful for my life. How could I ask for any more than what I already have?