My husband and I attended the Champaign County Farm Bureau Harvest Gala, a fundraiser for their scholarship program. It was my first time at any large gathering in over 18 months due to Covid and it felt amazing to mix and mingle with people I haven’t seen in so long.
Very few people recognized me due to my chemo makeover – gray, short hair and glasses. That was actually nice because I could politely avoid people I didn’t have time to talk to because they had no idea who I was. It was also a kick in the gut to have to introduce myself to former co-workers and good friends who stared blankly when I greeted them by name. The last 23 months of my life have changed me into a different person, physically and mentally, it seems.
Jump to this morning when I went to our local hospital for CT guided spinal injections. There was some delay when I insisted they use my power port, as no one working in the unit this morning knew how to access it. They finally found an RN from another unit who came down to access my port. Three other nurses used my access as training – something I love. When I was a teacher I told my students I believed in lifelong learning and I still do today.
The procedure went well and I am home resting. That is FOR SURE the hardest part of the day. The discharge nurse reiterated that, even if I feel good, I need to rest all day. Nurse Indie is glad to have me home and finds no problem laying with my on the couch.
When I think back to the last 24 hours, or the last week, or the last year, or the last 2 years, I am overwhelmed by all the ups and downs. I’m hanging on for this wild ride as long as I can. The highs are extra high and the lows always pass on by.
I will only die one day; not several days.
I am not in control. 