On repeat in my brain these days is, “What do you do with your time?” The disability claim specialist has really put me in a tail spin. I really didn’t need her assistance with the tail spin. I’m a pro.
There was a meeting of a new-to-me volunteer group and it was not what my mind envisioned and I didn’t handle it like a champ so now I worry about the group and what people think of me. Anxiety is my enemy.
I volunteered for the food pantry at my church, which is on the University of Illinois campus and met some incredible student volunteers and felt so good driving home.
I met with my personal trainer at the gym 4 times this week and walked the other day. Yay me.
I baked bread which calms me and centers me in ways I cannot explain.
We welcomed a second calf. Life goes on.
In my weekly zoom metastatic cancer support group, a friend shared that her oncologists told her this week her death is “imminent.” Having cancer is hard. Knowing so many people with cancer is hard. Life is hard. Sometime I’ll blog about survivor’s guilt. It is hard.
I celebrated exciting news with one of my kids. Prayers answered. The news also brought to mind some truly happy memories of a job I loved and the very best co-workers.
I feel like I did a ton of laundry this week, probably due to big dogs and wet grass. Oh, so also a lot of sweeping up grass and dog hair.
I spent a lot of time at my desk on devotions, writing, and art. Madi and Milli are always happy to be my assistants.
I read a lot of poetry this week. This is my favorite new find for the week. I feel seen.
I had dinner with a dear friend who I had not seen in an embarrassingly long time. It reminded me of a sculpture that is meaningful to me.
This sculpture shows the paradox of isolation. We build an emotional defense mechanism to protect our vulnerability, but this defense also traps us in a self-imposed prison. Is isolation a refuge or a confinement? That is not easily answered.
I am not in control. 